I would like to say this missive is brought to you from a dark, ventilated room where I lay upon a bed of ice packs. However, if all goes according to masochistic plan, I will already have been cycling for a few hours when this goes live. I need to get out of the house and onto the road before the sun’s too high in the sky and the tarmac becomes an oven baking me from below.

The payoff at the other end? The first BBQ of the summer and, I sincerely hope, a tall glass of chilled water.

But enough about my foolhardy battle with the sun. This is what the rest of the team are up to.

Callum
Having spent the week accumulating numerous fans to survive the heatwave and the infernal radiator it’s turned my computer into, I will be fleeing the flames generated by booting up a single Chrome tab and getting the hell out of this sweaty death trap. Where will I go? Who knows? Anywhere but here. Dear lord. Anywhere else. I’ll finally touch grass, and feel the wind on my face, and… oh, wait? Steam Summer Sale is on? Oh, okay, time to buy a load of horror games and melt away while I play them all in one putrid sitting.

Ollie
Too hot. No games. No desktops allowed. Only live in freezer now.

James
I haven’t had time to write about it properly, but I’ve been enjoying the raspy haughtiness of Darktide’s new Skitarii class. Its gimmick involves landing enough mace whacks to charge up a battery, presumably one lodged in your chest or skull cavity, after which you can spend charges to carve up the survivors with a giant razer claw. It’s not gratuitous, you understand. It is merely the Omnissiah’s will that I have swords for fingers.

Mark
Right, fine, I’ll come clean. My playthrough of the original Red Dead Redemption has morphed into another playthrough of Red Dead Redemption 2 halfway through. What can I say? I longed for the more in-depth hunting mechanics and Arthur’s dulcet tones. Oh, who am I kidding? RDR1 doesn’t (to my knowledge) have horse testicles which dynamically expand and contract based on the in-game temperature. That’s what I truly crave in any cowboy epic.

Jeremy
Still in Turkey, Jeremy is somehow enjoying cooler temperatures than London.

Edwin
I’m traveling up north through the calamitous heat to a charity event my family used to run that has now taken on a life of its own. (In the sense that other people now run it – I don’t mean to imply that the festival has attained sentience. Although that would be great for ticket sales.) No videogames involved, probably.

Julian
Assuming I survive the cycle and return home restored by the BBQ, I’ve picked up Noita, Rain World, The White Door, Carrion and Minishoot’ Adventures in the Steam Summer Sale. I’ve heard good things about them all, and they’re all on sale for a few pounds each. Graham gave Minishoot’ a Bestest Best and, from what I played during my lunch on Friday, I don’t know if I’ll get to any of the others this weekend. It’s immediately delightful (though, I’ve not yet been on the journey he went on with this top-down shooter).

And you, reader dear, what are you playing this weekend…?