This Mom’s Awkward Onboard Request & The Flight Attendant Who Handled It Perfectly


One of the most asked questions asked by passengers to flight attendants is whether they can upgrade. Usually, it is only the check-in staff that can upgrade a passenger, and even then, they must have loyalty points or miles or pay for the upgrade. If travel is for a special occasion, the check-in staff may upgrade if there is a spare seat, but it is rare. The only other time an upgrade is offered is if a flight is oversold in economy and there are spare seats. In this case, business class meals and amenities are not offered.

Some airlines allow for upgrades on board the aircraft with a full payment. On social media, it is highlighted that if you don’t ask, you don’t get, so it’s always better to ask for an upgrade, just in case there is a chance. Flight attendants would not agree with this theory, as they cannot really help someone get an upgrade. One recent forum post on Reddit reported a conversation heard on a flight and the surprising reaction; the post went viral. Here’s what happened.

What’s The Story?

A Delta Aircraft Departing From A New York Airport Credit: 

Channing Reid, Shutterstock | Simple Flying

A bold request was made on a Delta Air Lines international flight and overheard by another passenger. A mom asked if her teenage son could move from economy class into business class and try out the Delta One seat, for free. The Delta One product features privacy doors and lie-flat seats, and luxurious touches such as afternoon tea and an ice cream sundae cart. The passenger was seated behind the mom and her son, who was around 15 years old.

It happened during boarding, and the mom flagged down a flight attendant and asked if her son could sit in business class, as he’d really like that. The flight attendant was noticeably shocked by the bold request and asked her to repeat the request, which she did, asking if it was OK for her son to move to business class. The flight attendant replied, apologized, and said that it was impossible.

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Of course, most people would feel suitably embarrassed, both for the mom for asking for a free upgrade and the flight attendant who had to turn down the request, and potentially upsetting the teenage son. It is a somewhat surprising and controversial subject, and garnered a mixed bag of reactions in the forum.

The Flight Attendant Response

Delta Air Lines male flight attendant in cabin Credit: Delta Air Lines

Once boarding was completed, around ten minutes later, the flight attendant came back. He spent several minutes explaining the reasons why they could not move her son to the Delta One seat. He chatted with them both in a light-hearted manner and promised that he would do anything he could to make their flight as good as it could be. The passenger who overheard the conversation said that it was ‘the sweetest thing’ they’d seen on a Delta Air Lines flight or other airline in a long time.

The thread had numerous posts about the ‘entitled upgrade culture’ and airline etiquette, but the flight attendant’s act of kindness stood out. The key takeaway in the conversation was not even about whether she was right to ask or was acting entitled, but it was the flight attendant’s response to the awkward situation. He explained that he could not help, but softened things by saying it was OK to ask, ensuring that the passengers didn’t feel bad.

He also offered to make the flight better for them as an act of kindness. Potentially, he may have added extra snacks or drinks, maybe a small gift, and just given a little extra attention to them. He didn’t make the discussion about entitlement, but just about being kind. He could have shut down the conversation, but circled back, softened the awkward moment, connected with them, and took the possible embarrassment away from them.

Shutterstock | Simple Flying

5 Things Passengers Don’t Know About Business Class Upgrades

Securing an upgrade can be convoluted, and the process can be difficult to grasp.

Was She Right To Ask Or Not?

male flight attendant speaking with passenger Qatar Airways

Social media trends have said in broad terms that people should just ask for an upgrade, regardless, as it doesn’t hurt to ask. One commenter on the forum defended the mom, saying that there was nothing wrong in asking if you are polite and that you don’t harass the flight attendants when they refuse the request. Another one added, ‘Closed mouths don’t get fed’. Also discussed was the trend for entitled behavior and people expecting VIP treatment for free.

One poster commented that it was a ‘completely unreasonable thing to waste a flight attendant’s time on.’ Another poster said, ‘I bought my son a $1,500 seat… but would you mind if he sat in the $15,000 seat instead?’ One said, ‘Everyone knows how much first class is.’ The original poster was understandably embarrassed by the event and described the mom as ‘clueless’. In other posts, it mentioned that the teenage son would have been incredibly embarrassed by his mom’s request.

It was also suggested that the mom would not have asked if she had not had some success with a similar request in the past. Most people in the forum thought it was audacious to ask and that the flight attendant should have presented her with a credit card machine to upgrade, which costs more onboard the aircraft than on the ground. Others say that maybe she was naive, hadn’t flown before, and did not know how aviation works.

What Is The Etiquette Behind It?

flight attendant speaking to passenger Credit: Shutterstock

If a passenger wants an upgrade, they should check before the flight if the upgrade price has been discounted, and some airlines may accept bids or offer a special price. Check-in staff have the ability to upgrade a passenger based on suitability for upgrade, or if the flight is overbooked in economy, or under certain conditions. It is, however, very rare for this to happen, although you can pay for an upgrade on the ground.

Flight attendants, as a rule, cannot upgrade on the aircraft and get upgrade requests for almost every flight they work. Some airlines allow for a paid upgrade on board, but this is an expensive way to get an upgrade and rarely happens. When passengers pay a premium price for business class or first class seats, it seems contradictory to be given a free upgrade from economy unless for a good reason, such as overbooking the economy cabin.

In practical terms, airlines would prefer a premium seat to be empty rather than give it away as a free upgrade and data from One Mile At A Time confirms this. This protects the high-value image of premium classes, avoids higher service costs, and maintains revenue integrity by discouraging passengers from expecting free upgrades.

Why First Class Upgrades Have Become Increasingly Difficult

Why First Class Upgrades Have Become Increasingly Difficult

Airlines seem to be getting stingier when it comes to complimentary or discounted upgrades.

Further Thoughts

Delta Air Lines A330-300 Credit: Shutterstock

A poster recommended that the original poster contact Delta Air Lines and tell them what wonderful crew they have. They also suggested that such events as this often go unnoticed and that the crew should be acknowledged by their bosses. Flight attendants work with situational awareness and emotional intelligence, and are well used to dealing with issues, potentially de-escalating situations, and solving problems.

It could be suggested that it doesn’t hurt to ask on occasion, and could be compared with asking for lounge access at hotels or an upgraded car rental. It is important to take a ‘no’ as a ‘no’, or else this will be seen as rudeness. A passenger could try getting to the gate early, when it is quiet, and politely ask if there are any upgrades available and ask how much they will cost. This may result in a good price being offered for a last-minute upgrade, although one should never expect it.

One could argue that it is better not to ask and go through the official ways of upgrading. The check-in staff and flight attendants get asked all the time for upgrades and can rarely satisfy that request, so it is in theory, just adding more stress onto their workload. The flight attendant in this case could have just said ‘sorry, no’ and moved on with his duties, but instead tried to make the awkward situation more comfortable, which is admirable.

The Point In Case

Three Turkish Airline cabin crew members standing near a departure gate desk. Credit: Shutterstock

In a time when there are so many viral travel stories around that are centered on conflict, such as disruptive passengers, entitled behavior, and inflight drama, it is refreshing to see the flip-side. It was not about the question or the answer, but how it was dealt with, in a very human way. What could have been very awkward and embarrassing was turned around by the flight attendant. Within customer service and hospitality, if requests are made politely and with kindness, the upgrade may still not appear, but may be offered another perk instead.

In theory, there is nothing wrong in asking as long as a passenger doesn’t act entitled, although the answer will likely be ‘no’. If ‘no’ is the answer, a passenger should take that as the answer and not argue with the staff. The mom in this case did not make a scene after the refusal, and the flight attendant, although at first shocked by the request, acted with grace and had no issue with her asking and explained why he couldn’t help and what he could do.

The only real way to ensure an upgrade is to book it in advance or use loyalty points or miles. Some airlines offer discounts on premium classes close to the day of the flight, or passengers can put in a bid for an upgrade. Alternatively, passengers can ask when checking in and see if there are any available premium seats and their cost, as sometimes airlines offer last-minute heavily discounted seats. Upgrades are very rare and mostly out of the hands of the flight attendants, as the ground staff make that decision.



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