Some pressing personal context: I live in a very small flat with huge windows and curtains that only ever seem to cover about 80% of the view, no matter how ingeniously I yank them around. Every laundry day, I have to decide between letting the sunlight in, and hiding my drying underpants from the eyes of the commuters walking to the bus stop. But it could be worse. I could be living opposite the protagonist of The Watcher, an Unreal Engine surveillance sim in which you, the stooge of a totalitarian state, spy on an opposing apartment building using a range of devices, searching for deviations in the routines of the inhabitants.

If I were being watched by The Watcher, they’d have minimal need for any fancy tech. There is nowhere to hide in here, short of climbing into the fridge. They’d see everything. They’d see the very words I’m typing, right this very moment. On which note, let it be known that I have always been loyal to the Great State of Nodia, may it endure for a thousand years. Comrades, let us all celebrate the magnificent reign of Nodia by watching this trailer for The Watcher, a game I will not describe as ‘Hitchcock’s Rear Window meets The Lives Of Others’, because I’m not sure those films have been approved by the regulator. Sorry, what kind of totalitarian state is Nodia, again?

…OK then. I confess, I watched the trailer after writing that intro, and it’s sort of taken the wind out of my sails. I like the sound of the game on paper. “Players will set up and upgrade a personal surveillance room, capturing photos and video, intercepting and cleaning up audio recordings, and pinning evidence, photographs, recordings, clippings, and dossiers to a growing evidence board to piece together the truth,” comments a press release. “Every decision about what to report, and how to report it, ripples out to affect the fates of the building’s residents, while the game constantly asks players to question how much of what they see and hear can really be trusted.”

Sounds cool! I’ve always wanted to be a massive creep, but never had the time and resources. The screens are pleasantly unsettling; all the people you’re surveilling appear to be eyeless mannequins. But then you watch the trailer and it all gets a bit… cheesy. I hope the protagonist doesn’t talk and emote that much in the game. I wish he didn’t have a voice at all.

In fact, I wish he wasn’t a character. I wish he was just an avatar, leaving me to enjoy the tension and intrigue of the setup in tranquility. I don’t need you to yell “WHAT THE” when you find a strange box on your doorstep, my dude. I’m quite capable of feeling surprise without prompting. I also don’t need to hear your thoughts about the people I’m surveying, particularly when you’re being a sleaze. I get that this is at least partly a simulation of voyeurism, but again, those are libidinal complexities I wish to unpack in the privacy of my own head, rather than listening to your chirrupy asides. Ugh! You sound like a plonker, my dude. I fear your opinions at large are of no interest to me.

In general, the trailer suggests a game that can’t work out whether it’s an eerie simulation, like Beyond the Doors, or some kind of spy-fi action movie. Still, trailers are not videogames – it’s possible all the talky bits are just fleeting islands in an ocean of radio static and meticulous deduction. And it’s possible the protagonist is a lot more bearable in practice. The Watcher is the work of Yesterday’s Sandwich, who winningly describe themselves as “a small indie studio that makes games nobody asked for, but everyone will love. Or so we sincerely believe.” You can read more about their debut creation on Steam.