Last night, Elon Musk gave the people what they want: a car driving vertically up a multi-story ramp, launching off the edge, executing a mid-air “kickflip” over a lineup of Teslas, and landing via cold-gas thrusters.

That’s what the people want, right? “We were promised flying cars,” sure, but isn’t the operative word in that statement “we”? Because as far as I can tell, everything we saw last night — while extremely cool and incredibly impressive — won’t result in a real, production-ready car you can park, or, I guess, land in your driveway.

Tesla’s late-night demonstration in Waco, Texas, certainly gave some corners of the internet what it wants. And the gushing praise and wide-eyed reactions on X, a platform already predisposed to absolving Musk of all his sins, were hard to avoid.

Taken purely as a stunt, the demo was jaw-dropping. Equipping an electric supercar with 600 liters of compressed air, 10 directional cold-gas thruster nozzles, and a 2G suction-fan system directly inspired by SpaceX is undeniably rad. Seeing a 0-to-60 mph launch in under a second pushes the absolute outer limits of physics — even if it could lead to a detached retina or two.

Yet, calling this a “car reveal” or even viewing the flying Roadster as a real product, in the sense that it can be purchased by an unaffiliated third-party for private ownership, stretches the definition beyond recognition. Tesla says the “Rocket” configuration of the Roadster, the one we saw doing all the cool shit, will be “invite only.” But even that strains credulity. That version of the Roadster removes the passenger seat to make room for the ultra-high-pressure gas tanks, and trades road practicality for short bursts of thruster-powered levitation. But where you can take your flying Tesla remains a mystery, because the company admits it won’t be approved for “public road use.”

Even for the wealthy supercar shoppers, the event offered almost nothing of substance. Tesla skipped basic commercial details like pricing or battery range specs. The Roadster’s range estimate was downgraded from 600 miles to 300 miles. And Musk casually pushed the production window out to 2028 — more than a decade after early adopters handed over $50,000 deposits.

Musk himself has acknowledged the Roadster is a “small potato” project that won’t move the needle financially compared to mass-market models like the Model Y. He also called it “the last best driver’s car,” in a nod to his belief that autonomous driving will define Tesla’s future.

Some analysts are already theorizing that the Roadster’s re-release is an attempt to set the stage for a rumored Tesla-SpaceX merger. Musk’s fans on X are practically begging for it — even though it would likely result in the dilution of their own equity. But that’s just table stakes in Musk’s quest to consolidate control of his companies.

In some sense, the car had to fly in order to make the preceding decade of missed deadlines feel worth it. Tesla has already been lapped several times in the electric hypercar market. Even some of the Roadster’s most impressive tricks have already been done. There are cars that can drive upside down, cars that can jump in the air, and cars that can accelerate very, very fast.

BYD’s Yangwang U9 Extreme uses four electric motors (one more than the Roadster) to produce an insane 3,000 horsepower for a top speed of 308mph in testing — beating Rimac’s Nevera 268mph record. And the McMurtry Spéirling single-seater holds the record for quickest acceleration from 0 to 60 mph in 1.35 seconds. The Roadster could best it, but we’ll need to wait for independent testing to confirm.

But no one puts on a show quite like Elon Musk. So if the goal is to score a PR victory, dominate social media feeds, and cement Tesla’s brand as a frontier tech pioneer, than I would say the Roadster demo was a success. Competitors like Rimac, Porsche, and BYD will continue shipping real, track-ready hypercars while Tesla spends another few years refining its rocket-boosted prototype.

It’s completely useless as a viable product. But as a 30-minute flex of engineering muscle, it was truly a sight to behold.