Great Fairy

The Great Fairies’ clothing always read as leopard print to me on my CRT, though I think it’s supposed to be leaves and foliage. Regardless, I’d like to see how Nintendo would render these racy sprites in amiibo form.

Unlocks: A fairy, duh

Zora/Gerudo/Goron/Castle Guard

I’m thinking a foursome (steady) featuring all of the above. I’d love to be able to get a few guards and recreate Castle Town or the stealth bit in the Castle gardens. Same with the Gerudo.

Actually, forget the four-pack. I’d need these sold separately.

Unlocks: Hmm, how about some sound effects like in MP4? They went down a storm

Koume and Kotake

Gotta love the witches. An obvious dual-pack pair, Ganondorf’s mumsies would have to be mounted on their brooms. Thankfully, the ‘pee-stick Link’ era is well behind us.

Unlocks: Powers up your sword with a temporary fire/ice spell, which lasts until you take a hit

Mido

Poor, misunderstood Mido. Maybe he can join King Zora on the shelf protecting our carts. You shall not pass.

Unlocks: Deku nuts, useless Deku nuts

A Sage or two (or seven)

Saria is a favourite, and I’ve already mentioned Ruto, but honestly, any of the Sages would do well in amiibo form. Zelda would be a standalone, naturally, so perhaps a six-pack of the others could work.

You’d be looking at $100, minimum, but if $50 Kirby Air Riders ones get the green light in Kyoto, this’ll be fine.

Unlocks: Instant warp to their related Temple without having to play the Ocarina

Cucco-Attack Link / Red/Blue Tunic Link / Fishing Link / Link & Epona

Link, in his various guises, already has more amiibo than any other Nintendo character, but there’s always room for moarrr. I’d take any and all of the above. I particularly enjoy the idea of a colour-change Link amiibo with a red tunic that turns blue in cold water.

I’m also partial to the cucco one – Link would be rendered in a red, ‘taking damage’ state with at least three chickens piling on.

Unlocks: Spawns an ally cucco trio to aid in combat

Biggoron bust

This would be another large figure, a bust of the giant swordsmith resting on his arms.

I seem to be gravitating towards big boys to really jazz up the Billy bookcases.

Unlocks: The Biggoron Blade, a chunky second blade that can be dual-wielded with your regular sword

Poe Collector

Another seated figure to sit guard on the shelf, I imagine this one having a glow-in-the-dark eye.

Unlocks: A Poe lantern you can use to trap ghosts, ‘buster-style

Dampé + Poe(s)

Dampé always sticks in my mind. His heart piece in Ocarina — the one you dig up on his Graveyard tour — was the final one I was missing in my original N64 playthrough. Dampé with his shovel and a Poe (or two) sounds like fine fodder for a ludicrously priced NFC-enabled figurine.

Unlocks: Dampé’s shovel, used to go gravedigging without having to wait for his tour. Also lets you plant seeds in the soil surrounding Bonooru and Pierre – speaking of which…

Bonooru/Pierre

The scarecrows bring back memories of trying to use The Simpsons theme as the Scarecrow’s Song back in the day. Yep, Bonooru and/or Pierre can get on the shelf.

Unlocks: Koji Kondo’s canonical Scarecrow’s Song, which is 1000x better than whatever crap you came up with, assuming it wasn’t just left-C-left-C-left-C-left-C-left-C-left-C-left-C-left-C

Malon, Talon & Ingo triple-pack

Much as I’m intrigued by each Lon Lon Ranchhand, I could probably live without Malon and Talon. However, we could all do with a dose of Ingo’s Waluigi energy.

Unlocks: Lon Lon Milk in Sweet, Sour, and Downright Curdy varieties

Young Zelda

We’ve had two (three if you count the Majora’s variant) Ocarina Link amiibo, but the various Zeldas hail from other series entries. Old or young, it would be great to have a proper OoT figure of the princess.

Unlocks: Option to play as Zelda, a young forest girl without a fairy who’s tasked by a big tree with saving the kingdom…

Kakariko Windmill Phonogram Man (musical amiibo)

A few years ago, we let Jim rank all the Ocarina tunes, and he put the Song of Storms at number six. I can only assume it was administrative exhaustion on my part that prevented him from receiving a crisp P45 in the inbox, but at least we established in the same article — through the democratic means of a reader poll — that Song of Storms is, in fact, the best Ocarina song.

So, what better way to memorialise said choon than with Nintendo’s first musical amiibo? It’ll be inexpensive; that’s what I like about it.

Unlocks: The Windmill Man’s backpack phonograph that acts as an in-game jukebox, so Link can rock out to the Gerudo Valley theme wherever and whenever he likes