“Bar” is fine, the OQLF says, because that’s a French word as well as an English word. But “nosh” isn’t fine because it’s a Yiddish word.

Except ”nosh” is also an English word, of course, borrowed from Yiddish. And since “bar” is both an English word and a French word, for all the OQLF knows, “nosh bar” as a phrase might be entirely English. It could certainly be interpreted as such by unsuspecting passersby or customers who might thereby be irredeemably corrupted. Can Quebec afford to risk it?

Perhaps the funniest part of “Pastagate,” the 2013 foofaraw that saw an Italian restaurant in Montreal menaced for having “pasta” and “pizze” on its menu instead of “pâtes” and “pizzas,” was that the OQLF could offer no alternative to “insalata caprese,” so let it slide. But it just means “salad from Capri,” and French can certainly handle that. Radio-Canada’s cooking website provides a recipe under the term “salade caprese,” but how are we to know if that’s the Italian “caprese” or the French “caprese”?

We need top minds on this!

For reasons that defy logical explanation, Pastagate blew up across the political and linguistic spectrum. It was on the front pages of newspapers. (International mockery may have had a lot to do with that.) So far as I can see, a single francophone news outlet has picked up the entirely analogous noshgate: Noovo Info, which translated sister Bell Media company CTV’s English article on the matter.

They bloody well shouldn’t have to, but if Quebec businesses want this bullying madness to end, they need to gang up and insist on sanity and make the francophone press notice. If even five per cent of Montreal restos were suddenly “nosh bars,” the bureaucracy might just have to concede defeat. Perhaps other hitherto unimagined freedoms might follow.

National Post
cselley@postmedia.com