I can’t stop comparing the dialogue from the original, messy FF7 localization and its vastly improved fan translation

“Final Fantasy 7 PC” is not an immediately intuitive combination of numbers and letters. Am I talking about the old trapezoid box version released in 1998? Or the “remaster” re-released in 2013? Or the first in the trilogy of remakes released nearly a decade later? Calling the 1998 version the “original” just makes things more confusing, since it isn’t exactly the same as the PlayStation game released the year before.

When Square Enix updated Final Fantasy 7 to modern platforms in 2013 it had the chance to create something like the definitive version of the game, but instead it took some shortcuts, “improving” a few things from the original—like some of the notoriously rushed translation’s grammatical mistakes—but more or less leaving the rest untouched. It’s a worst of both worlds combination, where funny lines like “this guy are sick” get corrected to “this guy is sick” but the script as a whole remains confusing and frequently misrepresented in English.

Two years ago, fans released a monumental mod called the Shinra Archaeology Cut aimed at doing the script justice with a complete, top-to-bottom retranslation. It’s one of a heap of FF7 mods available in the fan launcher 7th Heaven, alongside graphics overhauls, rebalances, a fan dub, and on and on. What I just learned today, though (courtesy of this ResetEra thread) is that there’s a meticulously maintained spreadsheet comparing every line of dialogue from the official PC release, the Japanese original, and fan translator TurquoiseHammer’s new text.

Final Fantasy 7: Retranslated

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“All right, everyone, let’s mosey.”{END}	「よし、行こうよ、みんな」	“Alright, everyone. Let’s mosey.”
{Cid}{EOL}	Cid	Row 1 – Cell 2
“Damn! Again!”{NewScreen}	「カーーッ！　またかよっ！」New	“Dammit! You’re kiddin’ me!”
Row 3 – Cell 0	「やめてくれよ	“The fate of the planet ridin’ on our shoulders and all you got is that wimpy-ass phrase?”
“Stop sayin’ it like a wimp!”{NewScreen}	その気の抜けた言い方」New	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Can’t you say{EOL}	「『行くぜ！！』くらい	“Give us somethin’ with more gusto! Somethin’ like…I dunno. ‘Move out!’”
‘Move out!’ or somethin’?”{END}	言えねぇのかよ」	Row 6 – Cell 2
{Cloud}{EOL}	Cloud	Row 7 – Cell 2
“Move out!!”{END}	「行くぜ！！」	“Let’s move out!”

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{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Huh? Finger!?	「ん？　指！？	“Huh? A finger!? The hell are you doing here?”
What the hell?”	なんだ、おまえ？」	Row 2 – Cell 2
“I’m the position cursor!!	「ボク、【ポジションカーソル】！！	“I’m the {Cyan}position cursor{White}! Give me a holler if you ever get lost walking around.”
Call me whenever you’re walking	歩いている時、迷ったらボクを呼び出して！」	Row 4 – Cell 2
around confused!”	Row 5 – Cell 1	Row 5 – Cell 2

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Bugenhagen	ブーゲンハーゲン	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Reaching up into the heavens, threatening	「天にとどけ、星をもつかめとばかりに	“You’ve seen the City of Mako, have you not? A monument built to snatch the very stars from the sky.”
to snatch the very stars from the great	つくられた魔晄都市。	Row 2 – Cell 2
city of Midgar. You’ve seen it, haven’t you?”	あれを見たのであろう？」	Row 3 – Cell 2
Bugenhagen	ブーゲンハーゲン	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Well, that’s a bad example.	「あれが悪い見本じゃ。	“Far from a good role model, I should think. Look only to the heavens, and you will forget your place on earth.”
Looking up too much makes you	上ばかり見ていて	Row 6 – Cell 2
lose perspective.”	自分の身のほどを忘れておる」	Row 7 – Cell 2

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{Tifa}	TIFA	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Would you stop acting like a	「ちょっと！	“Stop being so dramatic and just climb!”
retard and climb!?”	エンギでもないこと	Row 2 – Cell 2
Row 3 – Cell 0	言わないの！」	Row 3 – Cell 2

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Mukki	ムッキー	Row 0 – Cell 2
“You’re less than half my age.	「僕の半分もいってないわけだ。	“Less than half my age… Must be nice.”
I’m so jealous.”	いいねえ」	Row 2 – Cell 2
“So how ’bout it?”	「どうだい？　ぼうず」	“So how ’bout it?”
“Do you wanna join	「ムッキーの青春サークルに	“Wanna join my club? We’re called the Young Bubbies.”
my ‘Young bubby’s’ group?”	入らないかい？」	Row 5 – Cell 2

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{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Ahhh…	「ああ…	“Yeah… It makes you look like a bear wearing a marshmallow.”
You look like a bear wearing a marshmallow.”	マシュマロかぶったクマみたいで	Row 2 – Cell 2
Row 3 – Cell 0	ぴったりだったな」	Row 3 – Cell 2
{Barret}	BARRET	Row 4 – Cell 2
“The hell’s that supposed to mean!?	「なにっ！！　よけいな世話だ！	“The hell!? Y’all just butt out! Don’t nothin’ suit me better than old faithful here.”
This happens to be the most comfortable,	オレはこの一張羅が	Row 6 – Cell 2
so shu’up!”	いちばん落ちつくんだ」	Row 7 – Cell 2

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{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 0 – Cell 2
“I don’t even know what a Reunion is!”	「俺はリユニオンなんて知らない！」	“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about! What reunion!?”
Sephiroth	セフィロス	Row 2 – Cell 2
“Jenova will be at the Reunion.	「ジェノバはリユニオンするものだ。	“Jenova’s reunion. She will once again become whole—and retake her place as the cataclysm from the stars.”
Jenova will join the Reunion,	ジェノバはリユニオンして	Row 4 – Cell 2
becoming a calamity from the skies.”	空から来た厄災となる」	Row 5 – Cell 2
{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 6 – Cell 2
“Jenova, a calamity from the skies?	「ジェノバが空から来た厄災？	“Jenova… A cataclysm from the stars? You mean all this time, she wasn’t an Ancient!?”
You mean she wasn’t an Ancient!?”	古代種じゃなかったのか！？」	Row 8 – Cell 2

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{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 0 – Cell 2
“There’s a Shinra logo on it.	「神羅のマークがついている。	“It’s got a Shinra logo on it. The ‘Tiny Bronco,’ huh? Nice piece of machinery…”
Tiny Bronco…	タイニー・ブロンコか……	Row 2 – Cell 2
This is cool.”	いいな、これ」	Row 3 – Cell 2
{Barret}	BARRET	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Shinra always keeps the	「神羅はよ、こういう便利な物は	“No surprise there. Shinra’s always keepin’ the best stuff for themselves. Let’s take it off their hands!”
best things for themselves.	絶対に独り占めしちまうんだよな。	Row 6 – Cell 2
Let’s take it!”	いただいちまおうぜ！」	Row 7 – Cell 2

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{Tifa}	TIFA	Row 0 – Cell 2
“I’ve never heard of Black Materia…”	「その黒マントもわからないわ」	“Right. Those guys in black cloaks. Who knows what’s going on there?”
{Tifa}	TIFA	Row 2 – Cell 2
“How many men with black capes	「数字のイレズミがある黒マントの人たち。	“They’ve all got numbers tattooed on them. I wonder how many there are.”
and number tattoos are there?”	何人いるのかしら？」	Row 4 – Cell 2
{Red XIII}	RED XIII	Row 5 – Cell 2
“…You know, of course,	「……あのさ。	“…You know…I’ve got this ’13’ tattooed on me…”
my tattoo is number 13.”	オイラのイレズミは１３なんだけど」	Row 7 – Cell 2
{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 8 – Cell 2
“How did you get that tattoo?”	「そのイレズミは……どうしたんだ？」	“Where’d it come from?”
{Red XIII}	RED XIII	Row 10 – Cell 2
“…Hojo put it on me.	「……宝条にやられたんだ。	“…Hojo. The rest of my tattoos are warrior glyphs. You know, for protection in battle. Hojo only gave me the number.”
The rest are just war scars,	他のは戦士の魔除けだけど	Row 12 – Cell 2
but the number was done by Hojo.”	数字だけは宝条がやったんだよ」	Row 13 – Cell 2
{Tifa}	TIFA	Row 14 – Cell 2
“So there are at least 13!?”	「最低でも１３人！？」	“So there’s at least 13 of them!?”
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 16 – Cell 2
“You know…”	「……あのね」	“Hmm…”
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 18 – Cell 2
“I think Hojo did something to	「黒いマントの人たちは	“So those men in black cloaks have all probably had something done to them by Hojo.”
those men in the black capes.”	宝条に何かをされた人たちだと	Row 20 – Cell 2
“But I don’t know what	思うのね」	Row 21 – Cell 2
it has to do with Sephiroth though…”	「セフィロスとの関係……	“But how that’s related to Sephiroth…who knows?”

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Corneo	コルネオ	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Wheeel…long time no see.”	「ほひひ、ひさしぶりだな」	“Ho-hee! Long time no see.”

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{Cloud}	CLOUD	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Because Sephiroth has	「だって、そうだろ？	“Think about it. Sephiroth’s got all sorts of doubles who could take his place.”
lots of different flunkies.”	セフィロスにはたくさんの分身が	Row 2 – Cell 2

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{Cait Sith}	CAIT SITH	Row 0 – Cell 2
“I heard your situation!”	「話、聞かせてもらいましたよ！」	“Seems ye’re in quite the situation!”
“Hi, {Cloud}.	「もしもし～　CLOUDさん。	“Oi, {Cloud}! It’s me, {Cait Sith}.”
This is {Cait Sith}.”	ボクです、CAIT SITHです～」	Row 3 – Cell 2
“I overheard the whole story!”	「話、聞かせてもらいましたよ！」	“Seems ye’re in quite the situation!”
{Cait Sith}	CAIT SITH	Row 5 – Cell 2
“Don’t forget about me.”	「ボクのこと	“Dinnae forget aboot me.”
Row 7 – Cell 0	忘れんといてほしいなぁ」	Row 7 – Cell 2
{Cait Sith}	CAIT SITH	Row 8 – Cell 2
“Everything you said makes perfect sense!”	「CLOUDさんの言うてることは	“We’ve got tae get this thing outta here, right?”
Row 10 – Cell 0	よぉ、わかります」	Row 10 – Cell 2
“You can use my stuffed body	「この作りモンの身体	“So why no use this stuffed body o’ mine? It’s for the future o’ the planet, after all!”
for the future of the Planet.”	星の未来のために	Row 12 – Cell 2
Row 13 – Cell 0	使わせてもらいましょ」	Row 13 – Cell 2

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{Barret}	BARRET	Row 0 – Cell 2
“Goddamn jackass,	「しょうがねえやつだぜ……」	“Now he’s just goin’ in circles…”
that’s what you are…”	Row 2 – Cell 1	Row 2 – Cell 2
“Just think about it…	「あのな、考えてみろよ。	“Yo, look at it this way, {Cloud}. How many people in the world you think really understand themselves?”
How many people in this world	自分のこと、全部わかってるやつなんて	Row 4 – Cell 2
do ya think	世の中に何人いると思ってんだ？」	Row 5 – Cell 2
really understand themselves?”	Row 6 – Cell 1	Row 6 – Cell 2
“People get depressed in life	「誰だって、わけわかんねえから	“Everyone’s just tryin’ to figure things out. We all got our own troubles, y’know?”
because they don’t know what’s up.”	あ～だこ～だ、なやむんだろ？」	Row 8 – Cell 2
“But, they go on living.	「それでもみんななんとか生きてる。	“But we find a way to keep on truckin’. You can’t just up an’ leave the race. That ain’t how things work.”
They don’t run away…	逃げ出したりしないでよう。	Row 10 – Cell 2
That’s just how it is.”	そういうもんじゃねえのか？」	Row 11 – Cell 2

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Sephiroth	セフィロス	Row 0 – Cell 2
“The ability to change one’s looks,	「他人の記憶にあわせて	“Jenova is possessed of a certain ability. She can transform, you see—change her appearance, her voice, her behavior to match the memories in other people’s minds.”
voice, and words, is the power	自分の姿、声、言動を	Row 2 – Cell 2
of Jenova.”	変化させるのは	Row 3 – Cell 2
Row 4 – Cell 0	ジェノバの能力だ」	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Inside of you, Jenova	「おまえの中のジェノバが	“The part of Jenova inside of you attuned to {Tifa}’s memories and created your so-called self.”
has merged with {Tifa}’s	TIFAの記憶にあわせて	Row 6 – Cell 2
memories, creating you.”	おまえをつくりだした」	Row 7 – Cell 2
Sephiroth	セフィロス	Row 8 – Cell 2
“Out of {Tifa}’s memory…”	「TIFAの記憶に登場する	“It scoured the many young men inside her recollections…”
Row 10 – Cell 0	少年たち……」	Row 10 – Cell 2
Sephiroth	セフィロス	Row 11 – Cell 2
“A boy named {Cloud} might’ve just	「その中にはCLOUDという名の	“and among them may very well have been a boy named {Cloud}…”
been a part of them.”	少年がいたのかもしれないな」	Row 13 – Cell 2

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{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 0 – Cell 2
“……first off,	「……はじめはね	“…You surprised me at first. You were just like him, and…”
it bothered me how you	そっくりだったから	Row 2 – Cell 2
looked exactly alike.”	気になった」	Row 3 – Cell 2
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Two completely different people,	「全然別人なんだけど、そっくり」	“It wasn’t your face or your clothes—it was you.”
but look exactly the same.”	Row 6 – Cell 1	Row 6 – Cell 2
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 7 – Cell 2
“The way you walk, gesture…”	「歩きかた、手の動かしかた……」	“The way you walked…the way you carried yourself…”
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 9 – Cell 2
“I think I must have seen him again, in you…”	「あなたの中に彼を見ていた……」	“Whenever I looked at you…I saw him.”
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 11 – Cell 2
“But you’re different.”	「でも、ちがうの」	“But you’re not him.”
{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 13 – Cell 2
“Things are different…”	「いまは、ちがう……」	“And that’s okay…”

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{Aeris}	AERITH	Row 0 – Cell 2
“This guy is sick.”	「ここの人、病気みたいなの」	“The guy in there seems pretty ill.”

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“You finally think you’re making a	「ミッドガルの下にいりゃ	“Just when I manage to eke out a living under Midgar, a huge hunk of roof comes crashin’ down…”
living in the pits of Midgar,	そこそこのくらしができると	Row 1 – Cell 2
and then a big piece of scrap like	思ってたのに、まさかあの	Row 2 – Cell 2
that falls down here…what’s next?”	デッカイやつが落ちてくるとは……」	Row 3 – Cell 2

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“This is my place,	「オレの場所だが、たまには見にきてもいいぞ。	“It’s my spot, but I can tell you’re a kindred spirit. Feel free to come around and gaze up once in a while!”
but you can come here when you want.	じゃな！！　きょうだい！」	Row 1 – Cell 2
See ya, bro!”	Row 2 – Cell 1	Row 2 – Cell 2

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“What’re you, retarded?	「やめとけ！	“The hell’re you on about? Midgar’s in a state of emergency!”
Midgar’s under martial law now!”	ミッドガルは非常警戒体制に入ってる」	Row 1 – Cell 2

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“But, I do things differently.”	「だが私のやりかたはちがう」	“But that’s not how I do things.”
“I’ll control the world with fear.	「私は世界を恐怖で支配する。	“My father’s ways are too costly for my taste. I intend to rule this world through fear.”
It’s too much to do it like my old man.”	オヤジのやりかたでは	Row 2 – Cell 2
Row 3 – Cell 0	金がかかりすぎるからな」	Row 3 – Cell 2

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{Cid}	CID	Row 0 – Cell 2
“…gave birth…?”	「うんだ？」	“Gave birth?”
“Isn’t Jenova Sephiroth’s mother?”	「セフィロスの母親は	“But I thought that Jenova broad was Sephiroth’s mom.”
Row 3 – Cell 0	ジェノバじゃねえのか？」	Row 3 – Cell 2
{Vincent}	VINCENT	Row 4 – Cell 2
“That isn’t completely wrong,	「それは……間違いではないが	“That’s true, too, in a manner of speaking.”
but just a theory.”	ひとつのたとえなのだ」	Row 6 – Cell 2
{Vincent}	VINCENT	Row 7 – Cell 2
“He was born from a beautiful lady.”	「実際には美しい女性から生まれた」	“But the one who actually bore him was a beautiful woman.”
{Vincent}	VINCENT	Row 9 – Cell 2
“That lady was Lucrecia.”	「その女性がルクレツィア」	“Her name was Lucrecia.”
“She was an assistant to Professor Gast	「ジェノバ・プロジェクトチームの	“She served as an assistant to Professor Gast, the lead researcher on the Jenova Project. Lucrecia… How beautiful she was.”
of the Jenova Project.	責任者ガスト博士の助手。	Row 12 – Cell 2
Beautiful…Lucrecia.”	美しい……ルクレツィア」	Row 13 – Cell 2

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{Tifa}	TIFA	Row 0 – Cell 2
“It speaks directly to my mind…	「頭に直接語りかけてくる……	“It’s speaking directly to my mind… Is this the Ancients’ consciousness?”
Is this the Consciousness	これは、古代種の意識？」	Row 2 – Cell 2
of the Ancients?”	Row 3 – Cell 1	Row 3 – Cell 2
{Cid}	CID	Row 4 – Cell 2
“Whoa…!”	「おわっ！」	“Whoa!”
{Cid}	CID	Row 6 – Cell 2
“What the hell’s this?”	「なんでぃ、こりゃ？」	“The hell is this thing?”
{Cid}	CID	Row 8 – Cell 2
“Hey Ancients,	「古代種さんよぉ	“Yo, Ancients. I got no clue what you’re tryin’ to tell me.”
I don’t even have a clue	オレ様には、あんたが何言いたいのか	Row 10 – Cell 2
what you’re trying to say to me.”	さっぱりわかんねえぜ」	Row 11 – Cell 2