The internet is full of advice about self-confidence.

Stand tall.
Think positive thoughts.
Look in the mirror and tell yourself you’re amazing.

I don’t know about you, but if I stood in front of the mirror every morning declaring myself amazing, my family would probably schedule an intervention.

So I started wondering what self-confidence actually is.

At first, I thought confident people were born that way. They walk into a room knowing exactly what they’re doing. Then I watched enough adults to realize most of us are making it up as we go along.

The confident-looking person at work? Probably worried they forgot something important.

The parent who seems to have everything under control? Probably hiding in the pantry eating chocolate.

The DIY expert on YouTube? Definitely edited out the part where they glued something upside down.

The more I pay attention, the more I suspect that confidence isn’t knowing you’ll succeed.

It’s knowing you’ll survive if you don’t.

Maybe confidence is just a collection of small victories.

You plant a flower and it survives.

You fix something and it doesn’t immediately fall apart.

You make a phone call you’ve been avoiding.

You try something new and discover the world doesn’t end.

Eventually your brain starts keeping score.

“Remember that thing you thought you couldn’t do?”

“Yes.”

“You did it.”

“Oh.”

That’s not a dramatic movie moment. That’s confidence quietly moving in.

So if you’re waiting to feel confident before starting something, you might be waiting a very long time.

Start first.

Confidence can catch up later.

It usually does.

Ilze

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