Just Say It

There are a few accounts I follow on Instagram that genuinely make me smile. Not the perfectly curated houses or the people making a seven-course dinner on a Tuesday night while wearing a white cashmere sweater. Those people make me question my life choices.

I’m talking about the accounts that just make me feel good.

One belongs to a comedian/guy who walks around various cities wearing a very distinct—and very bold—purple smoking jacket. He strolls along, randomly stopping people and tossing compliments their way.

“You’re looking very dapper today.”

“That shirt really lights up your face and your eyes!”

“I love your style!”

Sometimes people stop, smile and engage with him. Other times they keep their heads down and continue walking, probably wondering why a man in a purple smoking jacket is talking to them.

Either way, he says it.

The other account belongs to actor Steve Guttenberg. You may remember him from the Police Academy movies and Three Men and a Baby. Steve grew up near me, so I’ve always followed his career a little more closely.

Fun fact: he hung out at our local pizzeria when he was younger, and his headshot still hangs on the wall there. I may or may not have ridden my bike there as a teenager hoping he would be be there so I could catch a glimpse of him on my way out.

I digress…

Yesterday, Steve posted a message that basically said if you have something nice on your mind, say it.

He told a story about getting off a train and noticing a guy wearing a really nice shirt. Steve almost just kept walking but thought, Why not tell him?

So he did.

“Excuse me. I just wanted to tell you that’s a really nice shirt.”

The guy looked him straight in the eye and for a second Steve thought maybe he was going to bark at him for bothering him. Instead, the man’s face lit up.

“Thank you so much! My wife bought me this shirt and I can’t wait to tell her this is the second compliment I’ve gotten on it today!”

And there it was.

A few seconds. A handful of words. And someone walked away feeling just a little bit better.

I’ve always been someone who passes along a compliment when something strikes me. I don’t really think about it. If I love your shoes, I’m probably going to tell you. If your hair looks fabulous, you’re going to hear about it. If you have a great smile, cool glasses, a beautiful dress or just something about you catches my eye, chances are I’m going to say it.

I’m not looking for anything in return. I just want to say it.

Sometimes people barely acknowledge me and keep walking. That’s okay. Other times, a simple compliment turns into a wonderful little conversation between complete strangers.

And every once in a while, something happens that reminds me exactly why I do it.

This morning I was pulling out of the parking lot at Uncle Giuseppe’s when a woman pulled into the spot next to me in what looked like a brand-new little Fiat.

I immediately noticed her and thought, Oh my God. This woman matches her car perfectly.

Hear me out.

The Fiat was this beautiful, very light gray color. The woman was tiny, perfectly put together, with this gorgeous, perfectly coiffed gray hairstyle.

She and that Fiat were a set.

She looked over at me as she got out of the car. We made eye contact. I could have smiled, backed out and gone about my day.

Instead, I rolled down my window.

“I absolutely love your car,” I said. “And I have to tell you—your whole look matches it perfectly.”

Well.

Her entire face lit up.

She put her hand to her chest and said, “That is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.”

Oooof.

I smiled and told her I hoped she had a wonderful day.

Then I drove away.

I have no idea who she was. I don’t know what kind of morning she had before pulling into Uncle Giuseppe’s. I don’t know what was waiting for her later in the day. And she certainly didn’t know anything about me.

For about thirty seconds, none of that mattered.

Two strangers crossed paths in a supermarket parking lot and one said something nice to the other.

That was it.

Listen, there are plenty of days when I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I can be cranky. I can be tired. I can absolutely give off a strong please don’t make me people today vibe. I am not strolling through life in a purple smoking jacket sprinkling sunshine on everyone I encounter.

But maybe that’s exactly why these little exchanges matter so much.

We spend an awful lot of time thinking things we never say.

Her hair looks beautiful.

He has a great smile.

I love that jacket.

She handled that situation so well.

That person was incredibly kind.

And then we just…keep walking.

Why?

The nice thought is already there. The words are sitting right behind our teeth. All we have to do is let them out.

Because you have absolutely no idea what someone is carrying around when they cross your path. You don’t know if they woke up feeling fabulous or if they’re barely holding the day together. You don’t know if anyone has said something kind to them lately.

And maybe your five-second compliment won’t change their life.

But it might change their next five minutes.

It might put a little spring in their step as they walk into Uncle Giuseppe’s.

It might make them smile when they get back into their perfectly matched little gray Fiat.

And who knows? Maybe they’ll pass that feeling along to someone else.

So if something kind pops into your head today, don’t overthink it.

Roll down the window.

Tell the stranger you love the shirt.

Compliment the hair.

Admire the car.

Just say it.

Kind words are free.