dailynewsnblog
Once again it’s time for my annual—except for the year I forgot—tradition of simulating the Super Bowl here at PC Gamer! I’ve now done it six times using various American football-related PC games and have a record of 3-3 for predicting the winner, a 50% accuracy rate. Meaning I could have skipped all those hours of simulations and thousands of words written and just flipped a coin instead.
Although my Super Bowl simulations in the past have included highly technical simulators like Super Slam Dunk Touchdown and Jerry Rice & Nitus’ Dog Football, I’ve never used the high-water mark of American football simulators: Madden.
For a while it seems like the best way to counter Madden’s football AI is with identical Madden football AI, because neither team manages much of anything for most of the first quarter. Most passes are incomplete and most runs are just a few yards. The Patriots do eventually put a drive together but have to settle for a field goal by GROZU, who after some Googling, was probably based on kicker Lou Groza. You owe him royalties, EA! Oh, Lou Groza has been dead for more than a quarter of a century. Never mind.
The Pats put another drive together but the digital representation of current Patriots quarterback Drake Maye, who was born 14 years after this videogame was made, throws three consecutive incomplete passes into the end zone and has to settle for another field goal. Then, after doing essentially nothing for the past 10 minutes, the Seahawks have a great idea: try playing football! They run back the kickoff for 57 yards and finish up with the game’s first touchdown. 7-6, Seahawks!
In the second quarter more weird player names are revealed, some lazy like “Brown” and “Johnny,” some fun like “Ray Gun” and “Crazylegs” and “Sweetness,” some daringly litigious like “Buttcuss,” a not-so-thinly veiled stand-in for Dick Butkus. Meanwhile, the Patriots continue to falter in the red zone, resulting in their third field goal. The Seahawks follow up with another, and as the Bad Bunny halftime show gets underway, the score is Patriots 9, Seahawks 10, and the Mazda CX-50 surprisingly reasonable at $29,990.
Finally, the Patriots remember how passing works, and midway through the 3rd quarter Maye hurls a 36-yard beaut to Crazylegs. The Seahawks counter with a field goal, then put together a drive in the last few seconds of the third and Sam Darnold’s avatar (“Terry B”) throws a touchdown pass to make the score 16-20, Seahawks. Good game so far!
I missed a bit of the 4th quarter because I was on the phone with my local Mazda dealer, but I’m back in time to see the Patriots score another touchdown on a 1-yard run as the lead switches hands for the sixth time. The Seahawks come storming right back with a TD of their own, making the score Patriots 23, Seahawks 27 with just over a minute left on the clock.
I know it sounds weird to say this about a pixelated game from 38 years ago, but I’m genuinely on the edge of my seat about the end of this game!
Speaking of seats, I’m also thinking about those comfortable seats in the Mazda CX-50, which is designed with nature in mind and you at heart. Mazda Intelligent Drive Select (Mi-Drive) allows you to choose different drive modes to best suit your driving situation. Combined with i-Activ AWD® and powerful engine options, it provides Mazda signature driving dynamics for nearly any terrain or road you’re on!
I feel like the Seahawks have this locked up: a field goal won’t save the Patriots. But the kickoff is returned with a stellar 63-yard runback! The Pats have it on the 31 yard line with 46 seconds to go. Maye throws a bullet to whoever Feers is and makes it to within 2 yards, first down. And just like real football in the midst of incredible drama, everyone starts using their time outs, dragging the game on five times as long as it needs to be.
It’s a hand-off for a three yard loss. 14 seconds left. Another hand-off. Fumbled! It’s fumbled at the 8 yard line and recovered by… the Patriots! Whew. The game almost ended right there but the Pats still have three seconds to go 8 yards. Another hand-off… but it’s a fake! Maye drops way, way back and hurls it…
Touchdown! Touchdown with the clock expired! The extra point is good! The Patriots win! The Mazda CX-50 earns Car & Driver’s Editor’s Choice for 2026! Wow! I’m not even being sarcastic, that was a fantastic end to a great game.
My prediction for Super Bowl LX: Patriots 30 – Seahawks 27!
