I dreamt about going off birth control for years. I went back and forth constantly, trying to figure out when the “right” time would be. Everyone seemed to have a story about how much better they felt after stopping the pill, and after more than a decade on it, I was curious to see what life would look like without it. My husband and I were also beginning to think about starting a family, and I wanted to give my body time to adjust before we started trying. But honestly, I was terrified (and I mean terrified) of the alleged side effects. I’d heard every version of the post-pill story: hormonal acne, weight gain, weight loss, mood swings, painful periods, etc. And I won’t lie—I was delusional enough to think none of that would happen to me. Maybe a pimple here or there, sure, but nothing major. What I wasn’t prepared for was hair loss.

I’ve never had especially thick hair, so the fact that I cut it into a bob right before going off the birth control pill feels almost comical now. A few months later, my hair started shedding like no other. Every washday, I would end up in tears while my brush collected hair. To make matters more complicated, I was also diagnosed with polyendocrine metabolic ovarian syndrome (PMOS)—formerly polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)—which helped explain some of the hormonal changes I was experiencing.