The Original Pokemon Starters Are Ready To Make You Pokemoan


How does a sex toy shop stand out in the modern era of easily obtainable neck massagers and bedside buddies? The answer is surprisingly easy, as all you have to do is look at a popular IP and put in some elbow grease to transform that idea into a surprisingly cute nightstand buddy. Which is exactly what one company has done, with the return of its line of Pokemon–or Pokemoan–sex toys.

These will go on sale starting July 21, and let’s see Pokemon scalpers try and ruin this launch. Geeky Sex Toys offered these toys 10 years ago, and they proved to be popular enough to quickly sell out, a scenario that will probably occur again this week. The store has brought back its four unique Pokemon-inspired sex toys, and the line includes bedside back-up plans inspired by the original Kanto region starters–Bulbasaur, Squirtle, and Charmander–alongside a gluteus goblet that looks very similar to a Pikachu tail.

A closer look at the pocket monsters.

Each toy comes with a 350gsm holographic trading card, and you can also grab all of them alongside exclusive cards in a limited-edition collector’s set. Geeky Sex Toys says that it’s only making 151 of these–a nod to the original Generation One Pokedex–and it’ll sell for $399. That’s a pretty good deal, as each of the starter Pokemon-inspired sex toys costs $169 each, while the “Pikyplug” is priced between $69 and $100 depending on which size you choose for the port-cork.

The collector’s edition includes five cards in total, and all the toys come inside a themed hardshell case. The full lineup includes the following imaginatively titled marital aids, and they all serve various needs:

  • Bulbypulse
  • Charmybuzz
  • Squirtyblast
  • Pikyplug

The drop goes live on July 21 at 7 PM ET / 10 PM PT, and you can sign up to be notified when sales go live. The designs are actually surprisingly cute, and somehow, they haven’t caught the legal eye of Nintendo–yet. For something that’s also surprisingly cute while dealing with adults-only topics, check out Tomodachi Life for a game that doesn’t judge you for being horny on main.



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