Relationship OCD convinced me I’d cheat on my boyfriend


Relationship OCD typically falls into two categories: one is relationship-centred, where you doubt your feelings, and the other is partner-focused, which centres around a partner’s potential flaws. Symptoms mainly present in romantic relationships but can also affect other types too, said Doron.

Life transitions such as becoming official, moving in together or getting married can often be a trigger.

Sophia’s OCD used to centre on avoiding germs and worrying about her health. At its worst, she washed her hands at least 30 times a day.

When she first met her boyfriend in a bar on Valentine’s Day, Sophia felt present in the moment and enjoyed spending time with him, but when things became more serious about a month in, she says her OCD “latched” on to her relationship and she “completely shut down”.

Even the smallest things, such as her boyfriend wearing an outfit she did not like or trying a hairstyle she was not fond of, would make her question their relationship.

“My brain would be shouting at me to break up with him, even though I knew that’s not what I wanted to do,” she explains.

Although ROCD can impact anyone, some may be more vulnerable to it than others, said Prof Doron, adding that our experiences of relationships growing up or being prone to perfectionism or overthinking can impact how we manage relationship doubts.

The rise of social media has introduced new pressures too.

“Social media can definitely be triggering for people with ROCD because it romanticises love and can make them doubt their own relationship,” Prof Doron says.

Sophia agrees: “Seeing perfect-looking couples online creates an expectation, when real relationships are not perfect.”



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