I hadn’t traveled for pleasure alone in over two years since becoming a mom. Before that, it was something I did often; something that made me feel grounded, independent, me. Somewhere between routines, responsibilities, and pouring into everyone else, I realized I hadn’t poured into myself in a while. I refused to be a victim of “mom guilt,” so I decided to take a solo retreat and be in nature. I chose Mountain Shadows Resort in Scottsdale as my destination. No expectations, no pressure … just space and touching grass (well, really it was, desert sand).

I didn’t go to “find myself.” I just wanted to feel like myself again. Turns out, it’s the little things that brought me back. Here’s what helped this busy parent slow down.

Honestly, I sold myself a dream going into this. When I found out the hotel had “phone lock boxes” in each room, I thought that I would go completely off-grid. I did not get exactly there, but I landed somewhere close enough. I stopped reaching for my phone every quiet moment and let myself just be. At first, it felt uncomfortable—like I was missing something. Eventually, though, the noise in my head softened. I had a few check-ins with my family to make sure everything was running smoothly on the East Coast. I had a few meetings and work calls, but immediately after, I would turn my phone on airplane mode or lock it away. Which, as a NYC fashion mom who is self-employed, is abnormal.

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Without constant scrolling, I started noticing more of my thoughts, my feelings, even the way time slowed down. It reminded me how disconnected I’d become from myself—from the present moment—without even realizing it.

One thing I set as an intention was that during this trip, I would give myself permission to receive instead of giving. Which is harder than it might seem, even though I am a Leo who loves to receive gifts, etc. My mind has been running a mile a minute, balancing an ever-growing and changing career, a growing and energetic toddler, a home and relationship that needs TLC too, not to mention my ongoing to-do list.