A man accused of subjecting his wife to a campaign of “physical and sexual violence” said finding out she had died by hanging was the “worst day of my life”.

Tarryn Baird, 34, was found dead at her home in Swindon, Wiltshire, on 28 November 2017. Christopher Trybus, 43, is charged with his wife’s manslaughter as well as with two counts of rape and coercive and controlling behaviour. He denies all the charges.

On Friday, Winchester crown court heard about the day Baird was found dead in Swindon, Wiltshire, on 28 November 2017.

Trybus was on a work trip in Stuttgart, Germany, when he received the news. “I was just in such a state of shock and it hit me. I went back to my desk and booked a flight,” he said.

He said that as he was on his way to the airport to return home, he “broke down” in tears.

“Halfway down the drive, I broke down and cried. I got to the airport, dumped the car, asked them to put me at the front of the plane because I wanted to get out as soon as possible,” he said.

“It’s not something anyone can prepare themselves for; it’s a cliche but you never think it’s going to happen to you.

“So, worst day of my life, just absolutely terrible, I don’t know how else to describe it.”

An audio recording Baird made of her being allegedly assaulted by Trybus during sex was played in court. Trybus said the noises were “bumps and thumps” and that the “microphone seems to have picked up quite a lot”, including the sound of a door moving. “It’s hard to say exactly what’s going on but certainly not me assaulting or restraining” her, he said.

Prosecutor Tom Little KC asked Trybus if he was angry at being labelled a “wife-beater” by Baird, who accused him of assaulting or sexually assaulting her on 25 occasions. He replied: “It’s difficult to be angry with someone who is dead.”

Little continued: “Why aren’t you furious with her?” He added that if Trybus’s version of events was correct, Baird was “lying her teeth off every week”. Trybus responded: “I don’t know the reasons for that and me being angry won’t change any of that.”

The court heard that Trybus got a new phone on the same day Baird was interviewed by police in relation to allegations he had abused her. Messages from his old phone, including those between him and Baird, did not carry over, meaning they were lost.

Little asked: “Isn’t the reality that you were eager to remove any evidence of the domestic abuse … that had been contained on your old mobile phone?” Trybus said: “No.”

Trybus was also questioned about a diary Baird kept where she detailed their sex life and her attempts to get a space in a women’s refuge.

One entry read: “One night, during sex, I felt his hands around my neck. Something was unleashed that night. Progressively, sex got rougher. The more I fight back, the more he enjoys it.” Baird added that this was “a side” of her husband “that has been hidden all these years”.

Asked about this entry, Trybus said: “There was a lot of strange things she wrote in her diary.”

Trybus, who is a software consultant and developer, denies the charges and the trial continues.