When the first freeze of winter hit, I pulled out my flannel PJs and found only one mismatched pair, which had a long-gone, elastic waistband. They were given to me almost 20 years ago. I did the math and realized that my next pair may well outlive me. So, I purchased these, so I’ll look cute in case I die in my sleep! They’re splashed with hearts and have four pockets, crucial for holding all my dreams.

Saying they may be my last pair is not being macabre but merely practical. Each year, as some aspect of my being dims, droops, or drops off, I must constantly re-assess my options: If I’m nervous driving at night, I Uber. If I’m hesitant traveling alone, I invite a pal. Besides, when ice cream looks more like a slow drip for type 2 diabetes than a treat, it’s clear I’m not a kid anymore.

In fact, it’s my birthday! The reason 60 will never be ‘the new 40’ is not because plastic surgery hasn’t advanced but because the brain itself has had 20 years to change along with it. Our brain changes four times during our lifespan with the final shift occurring at age 83. Besides, I recently stumbled over a shadow that wasn’t there only to run smack into a curb that was! No amount of facelifts can compensate for an aging step.

Recently, a client complained, “Getting old isn’t fair. Just when I fall in love, I’m too decrepit to do anything about it.” He’s right. (He’s also 10 years younger than me.) Nothing is fair. We are all disadvantaged. Whether it’s the way we come into life, the tragedies that befall us while we’re here or the natural decline that descends with time. (Cool fact: when the future feels shorter, we’re more likely to break the law! I keep bail money under the floor mat of my car just in case.)

Remember the parable of the empty cup? Dump out your preconceptions so you have room for what might be poured into you? I would add: Don’t compare yourself to others. You have no clue what their story is–even if you ask them. Savor what you have and don’t fret about what you don’t. Norman Maclean said, “Eventually, all things merge into one and a river runs through it.” I figure if I make 83 in these PJ’s there’s no telling what might be just beyond the bend.

Source link