They say history repeats itself, and right now I’m living through a redux of my own childhood gaming obsession.

To understand my plight, we need to rewind to 1988. I had cut my gaming teeth on a dusty Atari 2600 my dad picked up at a garage sale. I loved me some Missile Command and Warlords, but once my best friend and next-door neighbour got an NES, it was Game Over for Atari. I didn’t want an NES of my own; I needed it.

Hint-dropping became my full-time job until, lo and behold, an NES Action Set and Super Mario Bros. 2 appeared under the Christmas tree.

Well, well, well, how the turntables…

Fast forward almost 40 years and the tables have turned. Now I’m the parent pestered by a passionate guerrilla marketer. This generation’s Nintendo fanatic is subjecting me to the same level of sustained pressure that I, no doubt, applied to my parents all those years ago. He doesn’t just want the Switch 2; he needs it, and with a resolve that frankly terrifies me.

Here’s a recent interaction:

Son: Hey, Dad, did you see the reviews for Kirby Air Riders?
Me: No, what’d they say?
Son: They like it, but everyone agrees with you that it’s weird Nintendo released two racing games in six months. If we had a Switch 2, would you rather get Mario Kart World or Kirby?
Me: Mario Kart, I guess. But it’ll be a while before we get a Switch 2.
Son: True. It could be four or five years before we get a Switch 2, so we’ll see how you feel then. Thanks, Dad!

Interactions like this occur daily. He delivers Switch 2 news with the regularity of a weather report and the cunning of a snake – mirroring my objections, using decoy options, emphasising shared values, and deploying every other psychological trick in the preteen playbook.

I’m witnessing a masterclass in emotional manipulation.

The Holdout

Why don’t I already own a Switch 2?

Frankly, I’m unconvinced by Nintendo’s latest console. I operate on logic, rational thinking, and spreadsheets, and the Switch 2 hasn’t passed my cold calculus. Call me a Switch 2 holdout, but I’ve weighed the scales and don’t yet see a positive value proposition.

• No OLED screen
• No proper Zelda or Mario exclusives
• Storage prices that should come with a side of lube

No judgement to the millions of Switch 2 owners out there, but I can wait, thank you very much.

Not so, for my boy. He doesn’t care about the cost of MicroSD Express cards; he cares that Age of Imprisonment runs at a smooth 60fps, that the Switch 2 Edition of Breath of the Wild would look great in HDR mode on the upstairs TV, and that you can use the mouse controls “on your pants!”

The Trojan Horse

Last week, my son pulled the ultimate move, and it might be the straw that breaks this proverbial donkey’s back.

As a birthday present for his brother-in-law, my son wrote a nine-page, 3,000-word summary titled “Everything I know about the Switch 2”. Ostensibly, this was a gift for his oldest sister’s husband, but in reality, I know it’s a precision-guided Trojan horse aimed directly at my wallet.

He casually asked if I’d proofread the paper. Of course I said yes, knowing full well it was a trap, but two pages in and I couldn’t help but admire the craftsmanship. He didn’t just itemise specs and list games; he was analysing the industrial design with the scrutiny of a structural engineer and previewing games with more brutal honesty than Ricky Gervais hosting the Golden Globes.

An entire page breaks down the kickstand alone, comparing it positively to those on the original Switch (“it tips EASILY”) and the OLED, before waxing poetic about the Switch 2’s rubber-bottomed, 150-degree adjustable stand.

I found myself nodding. Rubber on the bottom? My, that is practical.

His tome explicitly told me — sorry, my son-in-law — to “save your money” on the Donkey Kong Bananza DLC because “one new world and a new mode” isn’t worth 20 bucks. He also argued that buying Kirby Air Riders would be a poor value proposition since “you don’t need two racing games on your Switch.”

Wait, another psychological trick? He’s been gushing about Air Riders for weeks! He was arguing against a purchase he wanted in order to strengthen his core position. I’m telling you, the kid’s a mad genius.

Heart or Mind?

As much as I’m still sceptical of the Switch 2’s value proposition, I have to admit that my son’s tactics are working. He’s presented the data. He’s acknowledged the flaws. He’s even acted as a consumer advocate to protect his dear old dad’s pride.

The effort he put into this document — analysing frame rates, first-party titles, and the rubber on the bottom of a kickstand — has me thinking that this isn’t about value propositions or fiscal responsibility anymore. Rather, it’s that same, powerful emotional connection I felt in 1988, staring at the 2600 and dreaming of an NES.

His treatise ends with a question, “Should you buy it?”

And his answer: “Well in my opinion, yes. But… I’m kinda biased lol so decide on the info that I’ve given you.”

Well played, son. Come Christmas morning, we’ll find out what wins: my Greek mind or my son’s Trojan heart. Then again, Santa Claus might just surprise us both.

What was your childhood ‘white whale’? Do you have a kid who’s campaigning for a Switch 2 this year? Let us know in the comments below.